O ‘eto na. I’m not really sure kung anong questions i-ask ko pero, if it helps medyo problemado kami ngayon about finances and career. Although it would be interesting to know din kung tuloy tuloy pa rin ang relatonship namin.
For myself – Gene
1. I want to know kung if in case I apply for a higher position, magiging successful ba yun or would it do me good to apply for a higher position?
2. Would it do me good naman if I apply in another company?
3. Magkakaron ba ng time na kahit papano hindi na kami masestress about finances?
4. Last question: I’m not sure if you remember me telling you or si Veron yata yun…na hindi pa ako kasal dahil yung isa ay married na before. Hindi lang makapagpa annull dahil nga siyempre..mahal. Maikakasal pa kaya ako sa kanya?
For my husband naman – Dong
1. Is his present work which is sa real estate, good for him? Kikita ba talaga siya sa ganyang work?
2. Bakit masipag naman siya at determined na kumita eh parang minamalas pa rin siya na hindi pa rin siya nakakabenta after a long time?
Tapos kung ano pa pwede idagdag mo na you think might help us would be appreciated.
Thanks josef for doing this.
Hola Gene! I’m happy to help anytime, Dear. Before I answer your questions, I just wanted to say that although you said you’re worried about your career and your finances at the moment, I don’t think the problems are as bad as you imagine them to be. Generally you and Dong seem happy, and if you ever encounter any difficulties, financial or otherwise, they’re pretty much temporary. You both pretty much live simple lives, and it’s actually fine because both of you are happier that way.
The answers to your questions about yourself:
1. I think career-wise your biggest obstacles are that, first of all, you don’t think you deserve to be in a higher position, and that, second, to be quite honest you’re actually quite content in your current position, so even if you don’t get promoted you wouldn’t mind anyway. You’re the type that doesn’t want to apply for promotions and hopes that you’ll get promoted based only on your performance. Bakla — di na yun nangyayari. If you want to move up, you have to step up and fight for the position, otherwise other newer people will keep on getting promoted before you. Not that you really mind, but anyway. Be more proactive. Don’t wait for someone to assign you additional tasks. Step up and ask what additional things you can do at work. If you just stay quiet in one corner, it will be very easy for people to overlook you. I have a feeling that you should start of with QA-related tasks like call monitoring, feedback and coaching. Being a QA would help you learn better leadership skills, and that’s something you need a lot of work on.
2. If you apply in another company, you could maybe get a higher salary. The problem though is that you would end up having to start from the bottom all over again. No company is going to hire you at a higher position. It’s a better idea to stay in your current company because people already know you and your higher ups will be more receptive to giving you bigger responsibilities — provided of course you ask for them.
3. I don’t think you’re as stressed out about finances as you say you are, at least not if you look at the bigger picture. Whatever problems you’ve faced, you’ve always been able to find a solution, and I don’t foresee any major issues that would cause you anymore stress than you’re already going through. If you’re asking if you’ll ever be rich, the answer is no, you won’t, but that’s only because deep down you prefer a simple, uncomplicated life. Another way to look at it is that if your financial problems were really as big as you think they are, then you would have been forced to find a way to fix them a long time ago. Since you haven’t been forced to do that, maybe your problems aren’t that big an issue after all.
4. I think you and Dong have reached a point where neither of you cares if you’ll officially get married or not. Even if your union is not legally recognized, both of you know that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together, and both of you will take care of and support your children regardless of whatever obstacles come your way. If in the distant future you and Dong do officially get married, it will only be for formality’s sake and it won’t really be symbolic of anything. You will realize that the ceremony isn’t important as the life you will have already built with each other.
The answers to your questions about your husband:
1. Dong seems very happy with his work, at least in terms of the friendships that he has built and the enjoyment he gets out of doing the work that he does. Will he earn lots of money from the field he works in? I think you already know that the answer is no, or at least he will not earn as much as you would like him to. Still, what would you rather have: a husband who loves his job and brings that love into the home he goes to everyday regardless of how much he makes, or would you prefer a husband who earns more but is always irritable at home because his job is stressful? Be careful what you wish for. There are lots of consequences that we’re not always immediately aware of.
2. Honestly, earning money is not your husband’s priority. If it was, he would have left his current job a long time ago and he would have tried to work somewhere else that would pay him much better. You see, in that sense, your husband is a lot like you. He does his job and he does it well, but he won’t do anything beyond that proactively. He sees that as humility, sort of like how you do, but at the same time it ends up being an excuse for not achieving more. At the same time, you can’t really blame your husband for not being able to sell real estate. We did, after all, just go through an economic crisis. Everyone was having problems, not just your husband.
I hope that helped. Let me know how accurate you think I was. If you have follow up questions, post them in the comments. Take care!