It was Raffy’s birthday yesterday. I was about to write an entry in my journal, and I remembered it was his birthday as I was writing down the date, “May 13”. He’s 22 too now. I wonder how he’s doing? I hope he’s happy. I asked the tarot cards how he is, and they say he’s fine. His son should be 4 yrs old or something now. I saw the Spider-Man movie Saturday evening (brilliant movie, by the way), and I could so totally relate to how Peter Parker was like so deeply in love with MJ, and how he had been in love with her since the day he saw her. I could also relate to how he came to the realization that he could only ever offer her friendship, even if MJ herself wanted more than that. And so I cried over Raffy after watching the film. Nothing new. I have a tendency to cry over him after listening to songs that remind me of him, or watching films with storylines or characters that remind me of him or me thinking about him. Hell, the mere memory of him is enough sometimes to make me cry. I can’t believe I still feel this way after 6 years, and considering it’s been 5 years since I last saw him. I still hurt as badly as I hurt then. I came to the realization however that I can’t really be sure anymore how I really felt back then, and if those feelings were valid, especially since the feelings are six years old. I wish I could read the epic letters I wrote to Rasika. I wrote all my raw, 15 year-old feelings about Raffy there.